Dear diary, would you please listen?

June 23rd, 2008.

Being sickly for most of my life, I never loved traveling on a plane from one country to another.

But unfortunately and ironically, I traveled frequently.

Stepping off the plane and planting my two feet on "whichever-strange-soil-it-be," I wait for three days. Afterwards, I would catch the cold or flu. Sometimes it would be nausea and vomiting or diarrhea. Slowly and maturely, it began to develop a pattern by itself. Soon, not even soy milk (knowledge passed from Grandfather,) drunk fresh from those native lands, can ease these maladies which were consuming my body and spirit. I wondered would I ever get to enjoy what the bigger population of vibrant defense, yielding flourishing health, enjoys.
They unsurprisingly take their lucky body and spirit for granted.

March 20th, 2007.

Landing in a new job and working for a period of time, I was feeling quite all right.

Then one day, I got a phone call from my boss (also a family friend) saying this year I must travel to China. Hearing those words, I hesitantly told him I would think "four times" about it. I was deathly afraid disease would prey upon me again.

There was a TCM doctor who could help me during my stay in the United States of America. But after doing a year and a half's treatment by drinking those bitter herb decoctions, I was still not feeling fine. It seems my greatest fear had come to pass: destined to be sickly my entire lifetime.

May 16th, 2008.

As I packed my belongings, clothes and all, making sure no perfumes are hidden away in those pockets of the carry-on luggage, I struggled to shake my fear off and kept telling myself that everything would be "ok." Night falls, and after finishing, I wept for the longest time.

May 19th- wheneveritends.

I was tense at the beginning, but slowly and maturely I "dissipated" into their circle and became "one" with my co-workers for the first but last time.
Nothing special, just work and more work until my brain sets fire and turns into ashes. But I continue to work, knowing that they (my boss and co-workers) need my dual tongue: Mandarin Chinese and American English.

June 1st, 2008.

"Hey Lil, order a glass of margarita for me, please? Here's the cash," I shouted.
"What, you can drink margarita?" questioned she.
"Yes, of course," said I.
She shook her head.
I sunk.

My co-worker Lilia, ever so on the lookout for my health, refused to give me any alcoholic beverages, even though we were at a nightclub in Shanghai in the hour of 7:40 pm on our workday off. The air inside the huge room was stuffy, but the music vibe was keeping extreme discomfort at bay. People were hip-hoppin' until someone "falls to pieces." We ignored the unusual and continued our way.

"Then please give me an ice-cold can of coke, I'm sweating and dying of thirst here," I said half-jokingly and impatiently to her.
So Lil bought the drink and walked over.
"Here and here's the change," she then half casually shoved the coke into my hand and gave me a uncomfortably looking smirk on her face.
"No, you keep it. In truth, it's not anybody's cash because it's free-flowing, not dead," I insisted.
"If you insist!" said Lil.
"That's more like it," I said.

I laughed with her and drank from the elixir of sweetness, beads of sweat covering my face and body slowly dissipated into thin air. We took the tram home at around 8:50 pm.

June 10th, 2008.

My last goodbyes to all the co-workers were indifferent. Between each other, there is no destruction, creation, complexity, simplicity. This body and spirit I inhabit on this earth became neither too sick nor too healthy, it was just neutral. This trip was indeed, a different one, and I will not forget it soon.